Diagnosis on Christmas Eve

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On Christmas Eve 2019, Emily Harden woke from a nap with the right side of her body numb from neck down. A virtual visit doctor suggested a possible stroke. At the ER, they ruled out stroke but sent her home. She went to IHOP. By Christmas Day, her sister-in-law, a nurse practitioner, suspected multiple sclerosis. A few days later, a severe headache sent her back to the ER.

From Hospital to FMLA

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Harden spent 5 days in the hospital undergoing at least 5 MRIs, 2 spinal taps, and numerous blood tests. She was diagnosed with both MS and pseudotumor cerebri, a condition simulating a brain tumor. After discharge, she struggled with symptoms including hand tremors. She took 3 months of FMLA, spending days cuddled with her dog, unsure of her future. The experience forced her to reconsider her career in apartment management.

Finding Techlahoma and a New Path

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In 2020, Harden attended a free user group hosted by Techlahoma, an Oklahoma nonprofit connecting people with tech careers. She applied for a part-time community management role and got it. The job allowed her to work from home while rebuilding her confidence. She eventually became executive director of Techlahoma. The transition proved that a career pivot is possible after a life-changing diagnosis.

Lessons in Boundaries and Self-Care

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Harden offered practical advice for managing life with a chronic condition. Train yourself to say no to projects and social obligations when bandwidth is low. Avoid toxic positivity; allow yourself to feel bad. Smiling releases endorphins and reduces pain. Pre-mortem project management thinking helps prioritize what matters. Self-care before you crash is better than aftercare afterward.

Evolving Identity Beyond Old Dreams

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Harden described losing herself after diagnosis. Her first question was whether she could still have children. She realized the dreams of her 7-year-old self were not her current reality. She decided not to have kids and gave up the CEO ambition. Instead, she found fulfillment in public speaking and community building. Growth means accepting change, even when it means losing abilities.

Notable Quotes

I never thought about MS also standing for Microsoft. Emily Harden · ▶ 00:17

Uh 1 million people in the US have multiple sclerosis which is 3% of people. Emily Harden · ▶ 02:09

MS says it’s hot outside. You don’t need jackets. Emily Harden · ▶ 02:30

comparison is the thief of all joy. Emily Harden · ▶ 21:38

Key Takeaways

  • A chronic illness diagnosis can redirect your career toward purpose.
  • Saying no to non-essential tasks protects your limited bandwidth.
  • Self-care before symptoms worsen prevents burnout and relapse.

About the Speaker

Emily Harden is a knowledgeable consultant, skillful speaker, and community builder dedicated to fostering growth and impact. As the Founder and Owner of Harden Consulting, she provides tailored strategic guidance to nonprofits and small businesses, helping them unlock their full…