Community Before the Contest

▶ Watch (4:57)

Jeff Moss opened by marking his 10th DEF CON and naming the community’s defining trait: protect each other, dismiss everyone else. He paused to honor Bind, a friend from SoCal who died that year. Bind suggested the original small gong at the first Whose Slide show in the Flamingo, where he and Moss laughed in the hallway after the first ring. Matt presented Moss with a mini gong necklace onstage, following last year’s giant gong that made Moss cry.

When the Slides Fail

▶ Watch (5:49)

The AV system failed before a single slide loaded. Moss acknowledged it plainly, then pivoted: anyone on the sign-up list could give a 3-minute lightning talk on a random audience-chosen topic. A seven-judge panel would score each performance, including Grifter, Malard Jake, Dr. Wes McGru, Alise Dennis, Carl “Silic,” Duck Duck, and journalist Steve Reagan. First place prize: a bedazzled hard hat from Caitlyn “Medusa” of the Cult of the Dead Cow, plus a free badge to next year’s DEF CON.

Six Talks, Six Random Topics

▶ Watch (7:01)

Six competitors took the stage. Elfe talked child rearing, scoring 6 to 8 for a talk on twin sons he estimated cost half a million dollars. Mucks turned food storage into an extended Tupperware metaphor that earned one judge a perfect 10 for pandering to the crowd. Shannon T admitted she learned Fortnite only by watching an ex-boyfriend play. Brian R argued stormtroopers miss intentionally because Darth Vader wants his son Luke to survive. Karen opened with cyber dad jokes and was gonged after her first.

Dumbledore and the Path to First Place

▶ Watch (26:10)

Catherine R won with a three-minute analysis of why Dumbledore was the worst headmaster in fiction. Her case: he abandoned Harry with abusive guardians, disappeared whenever adults could have helped, and had a beard long enough to trip on. Judges scored her 7 to 10, with one giving a flat 10 “because gay.” She walked away with the Cult of the Dead Cow bedazzled hard hat, a Hack the Box subscription, and next year’s DEF CON badge.

Notable Quotes

I don’t ride it. I’m not poor. Killer Grizz · ▶ 0:21

Dumbledore was gay. Catherine R · ▶ 28:15

five Bitcoin for the punch line. Karen · ▶ 36:34

Key Takeaways

  • DEF CON’s closing ceremonies ran as a pure improv show after the AV system failed mid-event.
  • The Whose Slide format pairs volunteers with random topics and a seven-judge scoring panel.
  • Catherine R won the 2025 contest for her Dumbledore analysis, claiming the Cult of the Dead Cow hard hat.

About the Speaker(s)

Jeff “The Dark Tangent” Moss is an internet security expert and the founder of both the Black Hat Briefings and DEF CON Hacking conferences.